A message from the president

Is our children volunteering for service in Iraq? Sadly, no. I visited some the other day and found that they pretty much just like to stare at things so I've decided to recommend to congress that we reinstate the military draft. This proposal will seek to address the looming shortfall in troop deployment in the Iraqi theater while simultaneously offering extra credit for those students (grades 1-8) who sign up for the "field trip". Billions of dollars will be saved because the federal government will not need to provide education funding to our primary schools for the duration of the occupation. Additional savings will be achieved by equipping the new recruits with plastic toy guns and armor. A joint no bid contract with Haliburton and Mattel to field test Scooby Doo backpacks and swiss army pez dispensers has been authorized by the National Association of Day Care Centers. Of course, many of the details remain to be worked out but I am confident that America's kids will step up to the plate in their country's hour of need and if they don't, well, I think we can arrange a "field trip" to Guantanamo to make sure our children is learning.